Failure.

I'm a failure. I love being one because everytime I fail, I learn.l something new.

I failed numerous times. There are somethings which I left.

Yes, I have my weaknesses and I'm proud about them.

There are numerous things I learnt only after failing and I bet one can never learn without failing.

There are some things which I choose over a better future. I don't regret. Because those things matter to me, they give me bloody satisfaction when I sleep, that yes I've prioritised my life properly.

I've spoken to people about how better my life could be, and given the way I just speak but never implement things, people think I'm just a person who talks.

There's something people don't realize.

I struggle in my daily life. I learn things in a very hard way. And when I implement the things I learnt in a hard way and when I succeed, the satisfaction I get is enormous.

I may be written off as a failure today because that is what I am. I may be rejected by 10,000 people. But I'm hopeful of a tomorrow, when I'll see myself successful, and a10,001st person accepting me.

Uncertanity.

Life is full of uncertanities.

I like someone. I'm told by my intuition that they is no longer available, and I'm unable to accept the fact. Period.

It's very difficult for us to accept the things, but yes, life gets terrible after we try to accept things.

As I just was getting the feels of them being taken away, but I neither put those feelings in my thoughts nor wrote them down anywhere, so when I just wrote that down, reality stuck real bad.

They are successful. I'm not.

I am kind of successful in the scope I had, but there's a constant question that keeps poking me- what kind of Justice is this?

I lost some people in my life, and I regret things which I always would have done if they were here today.

I so wish I could tell the one whom I like what I want to tell and do something else which they told me to do, but I fear the social status. I fear the end of association with them, as a close.. err.. good.. err.. long lost best friend.

Forget all these, I'm scared to listen on their availability. Because the pain I'd get is terrible. Not like two lovers getting separated due to mere difference of opinion, but it's more like being separated due to something more cruel. Death. Yes, you read it right. That is how scared I am when it comes to expressing my feelings.

10 years is not a small time period. We've had good times, bad times, we told ourselves sorries, thank yous, wept each other's tears, helped each other, we saw both of us graduate, we saw both of us get jobs, we saw each other undergoing some terrible times and what not. (My heart suddenly pumped faster while I was writing these lines, felt so good.)

Why is the society so unfair?

Why is it that a man's social status while getting married should be better than woman?

Why is this fear of rejection stopping me?

Why should I be sad?

I wrote this and usually when I do this, sadness shrinks. I'm hoping that this time it's no different.

Or may be not. I'm still sad.

May be this is a phase that I should go through.