Entering into a different year is totally a different feel. For almost all people- it would be most memorable day of their total year. They get prepared from at least a week prior to it, shopping, planning to keep out from all commitments, and if possible, seeking for a leave. And then finally the day arrives- Friends knocking the door at 12, lifting the birthday boy high up in the air, showing him the breeze he has never seen by speeding on bikes/cars on empty streets, spending the precious time with their valentine, hugging their better halves and needless to say, there are many more things in which a boy gets into a different year. None of them have happened so far in my life- yes. However I have had few birthday bumps, and few surprise gifts from my sibling and my friends though.
Coming to this years birthday, yes I have lost one of the most important persons in my life good ten days before my birthday. Yes it won't "Happy" birthday, and irrespective of how happy I am, I will be turning 21. I'm done with my most happy days of my life, a good 3 days prior to my birthday. However, the pain and untold tears of losing close person has totally made me forget about the latter, but yes- I am going to miss my college days. And two days prior to my birthday- depression attacks me big time- like never before.
Lump in the throat, buckets of untold tears, few tears ready to run out of eyes, sweat, humidity, few shameless people who spoil a good car drive with their mindless behavior on road, driving an overloaded car with no power steering and no pick up, petrol key of bike stolen and me identifying it at no mans land and above all- all frustrations shown at me. This sums up my day.
Had I lived a normal life, I'd have even bothered about all of these. I wouldn't have complained. But the way my life has been in the past fortnight, I sometimes feel why on earth I am given such a situation to handle in life.
Yes, few things in my life have given adequate happiness to overcome depression of such kinds in the past, but in my current position, I can neither achieve those things nor I can be normal with the things going in my life, but all I have in mind is one simple question- Peace of mind is what I wish for, is it too much to ask?
Coming to this years birthday, yes I have lost one of the most important persons in my life good ten days before my birthday. Yes it won't "Happy" birthday, and irrespective of how happy I am, I will be turning 21. I'm done with my most happy days of my life, a good 3 days prior to my birthday. However, the pain and untold tears of losing close person has totally made me forget about the latter, but yes- I am going to miss my college days. And two days prior to my birthday- depression attacks me big time- like never before.
Lump in the throat, buckets of untold tears, few tears ready to run out of eyes, sweat, humidity, few shameless people who spoil a good car drive with their mindless behavior on road, driving an overloaded car with no power steering and no pick up, petrol key of bike stolen and me identifying it at no mans land and above all- all frustrations shown at me. This sums up my day.
Had I lived a normal life, I'd have even bothered about all of these. I wouldn't have complained. But the way my life has been in the past fortnight, I sometimes feel why on earth I am given such a situation to handle in life.
Yes, few things in my life have given adequate happiness to overcome depression of such kinds in the past, but in my current position, I can neither achieve those things nor I can be normal with the things going in my life, but all I have in mind is one simple question- Peace of mind is what I wish for, is it too much to ask?
No comments:
Post a Comment