Oops, something is terribly wrong.

Too much to speak but nothing to express.
Too much to talk but fear ends it up as stalk.
Many things to discuss but fear stops me to express.
I don't know what I am up to, but I want to give up.

The reasons are far more than what they used to be,
The stakes of anxiety to talk are also higher.
But what to do oh my friend,
I am derailed like never before.

I admit I miss you,
I admit I want you back.
But oh god- what kind of pain is this,
I really didn't knew it was going to be so painful.

Always when you are online I do this,
but by the time I finish writing, you go offline.
People used to say me "Facebook addict,"
But they never knew I await your presence.

Every time I find you offline after writing this, I press shift + up arrow,
with a heavy tear and deep sorrow.
Then all it takes is one hit on the key "Backspace",
All the memory where these were being saved will be ready to be over written.

I do "Ctrl+Z" couple of times,
and then somebody calls me on a different work,
I then decide not to think about this,
and every next morning- I await you online.

Today I'll make sure I won't delete this,
I want to publish this at any cost.
The untold amount of tears formed in my heart,
they will never see day light.

I am strong enough to let all go,
but I want to experience all this.
Yes I am ready for anything,
Prithvi is the name, and yeah- loving you is not my game.

In game you may win or lose,
Everyone wants to win, but this shouldn't be something where I want to win.
I want to accomplish it, not win it,
Because winning everything is too mainstream.

Things!!

Things do not happen when you want, they happen when they are scheduled to. May it be departure of trains or arrival of people into lives, one needs to wait till it happens, rather than chase the things to happen.

Just like how all the things we would like to see do not occur...

With the retirement of Sachin Tendulkar, all the four top order batsmen who had cemented their place are completely out of Indian team. Now that even Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir are not being picked for Indian side for so called "Lack of Form", the number of people from batting line up which I thought it was the best are absolutely down to zero. Anyways, here is the best Indian XI I wish I could see:

1) Virender Sehwag
2) Gautam Gambhir
3) Rahul Dravid
4) Sachin Tendulkar
5) Sourav Ganguly
6) VVS Laxman
7) MS Dhoni
8) Ravichandran Ashwin
9) Anil Kumble (C)
10) Zaheer Khan
11) Javgal Sreenath

Be it Virat Kohli, whom I am following closely since his start of career and to whom I am a huge fan of or be it Cheteshwar Pujara, who has all qualities of being the best test cricketer in the world or be it Rohit Sharma, who has class in him and is gradually throttling his career at perfect rate or be it Shikar Dhawan, who is doing heroics like Virender Sehwag- no one can match the class and style of the so called Fab Four of Indian Cricket- 3. Sachin Tendulkar, 4. Sourav Ganguly, 5. Rahul Dravid and 6. V.V.S. Laxman.

There may be cricketers who are technically better than the Fab Four, but their cricket is unique and it has set standards for all the people of India. It is the cricket one tries to play and it is the game which India considers as "Perfect Textbook Cricket".

As I cannot see this happen in my life, I wish one fine day, I wake up with a dream that India has clinched the ICC Test Championship at Lords in 2017 with the above playing XI against Australia with Sachin, Dravid scoring centuries and with me and my brother seeing the match with the very same intensity just like how we saw India-Pakistan WC 2003 match at Centurion.

Ferroequinologist (noun)

Ferroequinologist

fer·ro·equi·nol·o·gist noun

Meaning: Rail-fan.

Source: Merriam Webster

My first interaction with a stranger.

20:10- We start off from home. Even though Duvvada is not even a Kilometer away from where we stay- we have to go all the way to Anakapalle to catch Secunderabad Bound Garib Rath. Both of my cousins and my brother in law- My uncle had to miss out because of ill health and my aunt stayed back with him.

20:25- We hit maximum speed in Santro Xing, cruising towards Anakapalle.

20:40- We reach Station. We park the car and do customary platform check. Its Platform 2, as usual.

20:45- We all talk about our educational lives, funny moments in colleges, the way marks are allotted to people.

20:50- Crowd gather. All residents of employees of Vishakapatnam Steel Plant, NTPC, etc come to catch this train at Anakapalle as going to Vishakapatnam is not a better option in all aspects.

21:10- First announcement regarding the arrival of 12739 Vishakapatnam Secunderabad Garib Rath. Coach numbers are displayed.

21:20- Three minutes delayed already. My cousin starts pulling my leg as few good looking girls stand at the coach indicator of my coach- G8.

21:30- Still announcements- no sign of train. Train Enquiry says train started on time. 13+ minutes delay already.

21:40- Finally a triangle of lights- two marker lights and one headlamp. Then honk and finally the locomotives arrives onto platform. Arakkonam WAP1 is in lead.

21:42- That girl enters my coach, and I being the only other person to board- enters the train.

21:43- I shake hands with all the three. Loco pilot gives a loud honk and loosens the throttle wheel. Yes not a good LP, he gave a indecent jerk with Non CBC coupling consist.

21:45- Cursing the cunning SCR, enters my coach- hoping that I get to sit for sometime in my Side Lower berth, without either already occupied Side Middle or someone ready to see my face and then put on side middle.

21:46- I find my berth is alive. Only two people in the compartment besides mine, who have already occupied their upper berths.

21:47- Pulled out my identity proof for ticket verification- he says all those seats are booked under single PNR. Most probably they might have missed the train. I ask the friendly TTE to show me the chart, he doesn't hesitate. Found out that boarding point was Vishakapatnam, so they need to catch a flight upto Vijayawada in case if they have to catch this train.

21:49- The girl who my cousin was talking about, she was victim of South Central Railways scheme to get profit- yes she was given Side Middle Berth. No sooner she heard my conversation with TTE, she asked if she could be given any one of those.

21:50- She chooses Side Upper. In the mean time- I update the loco link to my friend Amarnadh Varma, who stays at Samalkot. He wishes me a happy journey.

22:15- A random conversation regarding the rules of refund. Yes, I being a railfan, has good knowledge on those refund rules- yes with that girl.

22:30- That conversation of refund of rules change to professional lives. She was a B Tech student, studying in Hyderabad. She came home for the festival and she is hurrying back a day before actual reopening for her assignments.

22:45- I said her about my passion in Indian Railways. She got shocked. I let her know that there are thousands of people like me. She listened it quite well.

23:00- The train comes to a brief halt at Samalkot. Yes the time is being made up. Half an hour delay is now just 20 minute one. I get down, grab myself a cup of tea. That was probably first time I talked to a stranger for so long time.

23:10- Train jerks off at Samalkot. I have to pay him money. I show him a 500 rupees note. He says- "Malli ochinappudu ivvu" (Pay when you revisit). Thankfully, I get to catch my door right before the train hit good speed.

23:15- She was working on her laptop, meanwhile, I notice one of those two deserted lowers occupied by an old lady. I asked if she would exchange her berth with me. She says she would vacate my berth in ten minutes and she was bang on time. She closed her laptop. A good night and I was into deep sleep.

01:50- We were crawling at Vijayawada Outer. Without hesitation, I went back into sleep.

06:30- I woke up, our train was looped at Wangapalli.

06:45- Constant high speed run. I was on my side lower.

07:15- Bhongir Loop.

07:30- Bibinagar at Maximum Permissible Speed of 90 KMPH.

07:40- I decide to go to the door. Ghatkesar is a place with very high speed. Green Coaches- Green atmosphere- train rushing at a very high speed. That is what I consider heaven.

07:50- I enter my berth again. She was on my berth. One last time we exchange pleasantries. Train was entered Charlapalli first loop.

08:05- Gate Way of Secunderabad- Danger signal at Moula Ali. Moula Ali is famous for trains halting for 10-30 minutes before actually entering Secunderabad.

08:10- We finally get a proceed. In these five minutes, I explained her how crucial this signal was. She was wondering as almost all the times she traveled to Secunderabad, she woke up at Secunderabad.

08:22- We were crawling at Secunderabad outer. Ghaziabad WAP 5.

08:25- We finally enter platform. Platform 7 it is. I bid her bye, went to ticket counter at platform 7, but ticket to Vidyanagar. In the meanwhile- I find a Duronto on platform 1. I walked all the way to platform 1. It was 12213 Yesvantpur-Delhi Sarai Rohilla Duronto Express. Yes, that WAP 5 will be augmented to 12213.

08:30- I decide to shoot the augmentation from my mobile. And I do it.

08:35- My MMTS bound for Falaknuma whistles and it does a parallel run with 12213. I record it too.

08:50- I get down at Vidyanagar. Walks all the way to home.

09:10- Home, sweet home.

A Send Off to Remember.

It was a bright sunny Saturday, 20th of July, 2013. I received the text-"I have started, where are you" and I replied " I am starting as well". Like many times, I've said I'm going to ground, and started. It wasn't too chilly, so my Red Discover started off without any hiccup. A pleasant meet with couple of my friends at cellar, and a customary "good morning" and rise in throttle to ensure they understand I am in hurry.

The lanes which are always jammed with traffic seemed quite different- yes the reason is obvious, Sunday morning 6:30 AM it was. Just like how electric trains starting from Secunderabad towards north enter Kazipet, I did make it on time to my Kazipet, which happens to be my friends home- which has become my highway. Then after negotiating numerous turnings and lanes, I finally reached Osmania University Main Entrance. From there, I can throttle freely. I did a constant speed of above 50 Kmph, so as to ensure I am not wasting any time. Finally I reached the point where the Osmania University was finished. 

I entered the Sitaphalmandi road and found I was the only person on the road. I throttled as if there was no tomorrow. top speed of 70 and I decelerated because the road wasn't so good. Then came the Sitaphalmandi fly over. That is an interesting fly over, with birth of unintentional speed brakers. One cannot simply go above 40 KMPH may it be he is the only person to ride the bike. Finally after doing some constant 40+ speed, I reached Secunderabad. And even here, I had to go straight, so as to ensure I enter the Bhoiguda entrance of Secunderabad railway station. I parked the bike and rushed to take the platform ticket.

His dad dropped him and he left. He is alone. Charminar Express entered with the then customary link- Lallaguda WAP 7. He was near lawn on platform ten. He was going on a tour just to travel in that train. He had a backpack and a handy bag. Numerous things were unloaded off Charminar Express Luggage Van and finally even it moved out to its final destination.

Finally the announcements for the train he was waiting started. We moved to the platform on which his coach was going to come. The train entered. The loco was the very same one when we both met earlier. After getting himself settled in his berth, which happened to be side lower, we both got down. After customary loco inspection, the train got started to move out. And minutes before the pull, his phone peeped for an unfortunate text- "Tracks washed off near Tulijapur".

The train started despite of the sad news, which probably the Loco Pilot himself didn't knew.

Yes- I went to see off Y. Anil Kumar, who was going to Bhopal in Primo Supremo of SWR- Rajdhani Express. In case if you feel I have ended this on a strange note of unsure journey, please find yourselves comfortable at his travelogue.

Maiden Post- yes its about my favorite Locomotive- EMD GT46PAC aka WDP 4

I've been a rail-enthusiast right from my childhood and a place called "Krishna" is the place where I first saw something called "Train". In 2005-2006, whenever I visited that place- a new kind of locomotive used to come with the train I regularly board- Kurla Express. It used to either have a pentagon front or a electric engine style front. That particular locomotive used to have deadly honks in place of normal honks of diesel engines. At that time, Kurla Express had to switch two tracks to enter the platform and the train had to crawl at very low speed. Switching two tracks made the train look exactly like a snake- with a pentagon shaped head. I still remember- the loco pilot (LP) was giving a loud honk to all the people- everyone were getting ready to get into the train and grab their seats- meanwhile the people whom I came to see off got ready as well. Needless to say- One thousand and one hundred curses from all people to the LP because of maintaining so low speed, including me- yes I didn't knew about all the restrictions of speed back then.

In 2009, when I was coming back from Vishakapatnam, we had to choose Janmabhoomi Express between Anakapalle and Secunderabad. Back then, the train had electric locomotive assigned between Vishakapatnam and Tenali and diesel locomotive between Tenali and Secunderabad. After crossing Tenali, I found myself being pulled by a different kind of locomotive. Then I recollected it was similar model to something which I saw in Krishna. It has different sounds while comparing to normal ones. It produces a sound that actually sounds like a tiger roaring loud. It has deadly honks unlike the normal diesel locomotives.

After being a technical rail fan since 2010, I've learnt quite a lot about this locomotive. These are the locomotives manufactured by Electro-Motive Diesel- often abbreviated as EMD. First ten locomotives of this kind have come all the way from Canada, and these locomotives doesn't have healthy acceleration. 4,000 HP defines that it can pull 24 coaches (maximum number of coaches to any train on a typical day) at top speed of 120 KMPH provided the sectional speed has suitable maximum permissible speed. Although it has been successfully tested with 160 KMPH with 8 coach load. It has two ends- one is Short Hood Forward and the other is Long Hood Forward. In case if the cab in which LP and ALP sit in forward, then it is considered as Short Hood Forward and in case if they are sitting at the side of the coaches, then it is known as long hood forward. Short hood forward is the best loco pilots can get because they give them perfect view. On the other hand, Long Hood Forward gives a royal feel- a 21 meter bonnet is not something ordinary.

Face to face with EMD GT46PAC aka WDP4 homed at Krishnarajapuram.

I've been under its pull for numerous times and yes, it does have very bad acceleration. But once it picks up speeds, it can be a deadly beast.